A Definite Ranking of The Hogwarts Houses

Disclaimer: This is the personal view of Rebekah Taylor, a biased Harry Potter fan. 

One of my earliest memories is my mother telling me I could not read Harry Potter until I was at least 10 years old, and then me sneaking a copy of the first novel off my brothers bookshelf and reading quietly in the laundry room.  While I’m positive my mother knew of my conniving actions, I was so enchanted by the Wizarding World of Harry Potter to care. I eagerly flipped page after page learning of a young boy at 4 Privet Drive, and every other week I was faced with a new cover and title, but the same story of Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley. My love for the series is incomprehensible, and I know this love is shared with billions around the globe.

When Pottermore, a website for more Harry Potter writings, quizzes, and articles, was created in 2012 by J.K. Rowling, my siblings and I quickly made accounts. After signing up, I discovered my house, my wand, and even my patronus. My 12 year-old self imagined herself walking in the Hogwarts castle on her way to Defense Against the Dark Arts, and my heart swelled with joy. After announcing my house, my brother announced his, and so did my sister, and thus we began sharing and debating why our sorted houses were the best. It was a moment of living our favorite book series, and passionately defending our Hogwarts house. After six years, this debate lives on every time Harry Potter is mentioned, but as the youngest child, clearly the one who knows most about everything, I will end this debate with the definite ranking of the Hogwarts houses.

  1. Ravenclaw 

PM_House_Pages_400_x_400_px_FINAL_CRESTSorry sis, but Ravenclaw is the worst house. The house has it pros, but in reality Ravenclaw’s are a bunch of nerds. That’s right, I said it. Ravenclaw is full of people defined by their intelligence instead of actual personalities. While it has produced a number of good wizards like Luna Lovegood, Sybill Trelawney, and Filius Flitwick, the house also produced Professor Quirrell and Gilderoy Lockhart, who BOTH tried to kill Harry Potter. Unsatisfactory Ravenclaw, unsatisfactory. I honor their value of learning, but Ravenclaw’s are also a bunch of nobodies. I don’t recall anyone, besides Luna and Cho Chang, that personally helped harry in the battle of Hogwarts. In summary, Ravenclaw is full of nerds who are scared to fight. Boom, roasted.

  1. Gryffindor

PM_House_Pages_400_x_400_px_FINAL_CREST2Yeah yeah, Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, all great people, but are we going to ignore the fact that Gryffindors are the privileged kids at Hogwarts? I mean, their headmaster loves them because it is his legacy he wants to carry on, and practically rigs the points ceremony every year for Gryffindor to win. There are so many cons for the “courageous, brave, and determined” house, but if it wasn’t for my unprecedented love of Minerva McGonagall and Neville Longbottom, I would have ranked it last. It’s simple, Gryffindors are arrogant, judgmental, unloyal, rule-breakers who get away with doing legitimate crimes, but act like goody-two shoes. Yeah yeah yeah, they saved the wizarding world from darkness, but does that make up for their stupidity? Absolutely not.

  1. Hufflepuff

PM_House_Pages_400_x_400_px_FINAL_CREST3All good and wholesome traits lie within the Hufflepuff house. Loyal, hard-working, patience people all belong to Hufflepuff, and besides Gryffindor (ugh) they had the most fighters in the battle of Hogwarts. They are kind and caring, but people take advantage of their willingness to help. Hufflepuffs are the best types of people in the world including Cedric Diggory, Newt Scamander, Nymphadora Tonks, and Pomona Sprout, not to mention the Fat Friar is one fun ghost. Hufflepuffs would bake you cookies when you’re having a rough day, and would also take a bullet for you. Don’t be fooled by their laidback attitude, Hufflepuffs are your ride or dies.

  1. Slytherin

PM_House_Pages_400_x_400_px_FINAL_CREST4Did you really expect a girl who stole her poor Hufflepuff brother’s books to rate Slytherin anything but first? Slytherins are ambitious and know how to get the job done, they’re cunning and know how to weave the right words to win over people. Yes, Slytherin has produced a large amount of dark wizards, but the house values aren’t the ill-intention preconceived notions most people have. Slytherins, in my opinion, are a combination of all the houses. They are ambitious like Gryffindors, loyal like Hufflepuffs, and intelligent like Ravenclaws, and without those traits a Slytherin cannot be cunning, and determined as they are destined to be. Without Slytherins, Hogwarts wouldn’t even be a school considering Salazar Slytherin was the motion to drive Hogwarts into a reality. Also, Merlin was a Slytherin and without Merlin, what would there be? A bunch of confused teenagers wandering around England with some sticks in their hands? Slytherin is the best house, end of story, and if you disagree…

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