How to Survive the Great Turkey Day

No awkward questions asked, everyone is calm and getting along well, the food is amazing, the house is perfectly clean, all are getting along well…that is exactly what does NOT happen during Thanksgiving. Here are some tips and tricks to help you survive each family member’s quirks during the  holidays.

By: Bailee Columber

1. The neat freak
This is usually the mother. You have all been in the position where your mother offers to host and yet is freaking out because the house is not clean enough. If that happens to be you this Thanksgiving, clean your room the night before and stay in your room the whole day, only poking your head out to see if there is something you can do once or twice (or, to play it safe in extreme cases this can also be sent in a text). Being in her way is the easiest way to become a problem. When dinner comes around, do not eat big spoonsful at a time. If you are eating peas, eat them one at a time. Big spoonsful will cause spills and even the thought this might happen can cause mom’s blood pressure to skyrocket [which will not make mom  pleased).
2. The annoying little kid
There will always be at least one terror-inducing toddler at every Thanksgiving dinner. Usually they are the one who nags you to finish your food in one bite so you can play with them. If this happens to you, play hide and seek with them, except drop the seek part. Instead, go back and enjoy your dinner in peace.

3. The question- asker
You have all been in this situation. Whether it is college, boys or girls, sports, or grades; there is the aunt, uncle, grandma, or grandpa who feels the need to know it all. If this is your situation on Thanksgiving, make sure to dodge as many bullets as possible. If they start talking about boys or girls, pretend like you are the most innocent of the family who has never had a boyfriend or girlfriend or even talked to one of them; then make sure to mentions your cousin’s new girlfriend or boyfriends for the perfect diversion. If they start talking about grades, act like you are going to get into Harvard and that you have straight A’s in every single class. If you act this perfect, they will not have as many questions or at least they’ll move on to the next kid soon.

4. The bad cook
This usually ends up being one of the cousins who thinks they are the best cook who makes the best mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, etc. in the world. You do not want to insult them by not taking what they made, so you have to take it. Once you get it, spread it out or mush it so it looks like you ate it but just did not finish it. Or drop it to the dog wandering under the table. This trick also works to please those grandmas who want you to try everything because “your taste buds are changing and you never know if you might like it”. When they ask how it was, say it was the best Thanksgiving creation you have ever  had.

5. The over affectionate
This is always grandma.These tips are for those who hate hugs and kisses. The best way to avoid the hugs and kisses, is to pretend like you are deathly sick or have a skin disease. They will for sure not touch you; you are in the clear. Throw in a cough or a gag every once in a while and you will be all set. The most you will get is a pat on the head. Secondary bonus: you avoid carrying the floral perfume with you for the rest of the  day.

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